Like how water gradually eats away rock at the bottom of a waterfall, something has constantly being hewing away at the fabric of my mind. Ridiculous as it reads, it seemed eerily funny to me that I always came across Arsenal in many, no, most embarrassing video compilations. As the years passed and I came across more, the notion reinforced itself in me. Yesterday, I watched two free kick video compilations titled "Funny and smart free kicks ever" (Yes, no joke that's the title) and "Top 20 free kicks ever in football". The latter featured Cristiano Ronaldo belting two cracking shots from distance into Manuel Almunia's net (Almunia was Arsenal's keeper). The first video didn't feature Arsene Wenger's team but it did feature the Arsenal's female team conceding a well planned, poorly defended free kick. My mind immediately raced to how I had just downloaded a video compilation of top 10 own goals. Trust the bhoys not to slack as the video had 2 different own goals by Arsenal players, Carl Jenkinson's own goal was a beauty, one only gets to see such probably twice in a lifetime, can't wait to see my second.
As the rationale of "This is just a coincidence" was succeeding in washing away the fatuous thought that Arsene Wenger somehow had a hand in helping YouTube creat video compilations, it occurred to me take note of strikers whose names strike fear into the heart of whatever defence was present at the Emirates since Wenger's tenure started.
- Cristiano Ronaldo
- Lionel Messi
- Didier Drogba (Drogba vs Arsenal was just comical)
- Wayne Rooney
- Harry Kane (slowly becoming Didier Drogba's Arsenal reincarnation).
Note: Any of these guys versus Arsenal as a goals compilation would be killer.
To be objective, Arsenal also featured in some pretty good highlights reels. I just recently watched a top 10 penalty save compilation and true to type, Wojneich Szczesny was one of the heroes. He saved Kirk Kuyt's penalty and the rebound. Arsenal also featured in a video compilation titled "Top 10 tikitaka goals", it had Tomas Rosicky's goal and Jack Wilshere's glorious team goal. I also remember that one of Thiery Henry's goals featured in a top 20 best solo goals compilation I watched. Then I remember Supersport once featured a video showing the best goals in the Premier league since its inception, Dennis Bergkamp's 'back to goal - flick the ball lightly' goal against Newcastle was ranked number 1.
With all this proof, I hope I have confused and not convinced you as to the issue of whether Arsenal is just a compilation team or not. It's funny to think anyone looking for a killer video compilation just calls Wenger, "Hello Arsene! I want to make a video compilation." and Wenger readies the boys. The next match then features either the sickest moves or the most asinine, either way you have a part of your reel. I am now intensely aware of how preposterous this is, the whole write-up. But it's already written and look at the bright side, it's going to be fun for conspiracy theorists.
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