Wednesday, 18 January 2017

Best Player Votes Accumulator

     In a weekend where most of our top 5 players in the English Premier League failed to light up the pitch or didn't fail to dampen expectations due to poor performance, external commitments or nebulous circumstances (Diego Costa), other huge performances come to fore. We can't look past Tottenham's complete decimation of Tony Pulis' team or Chelsea's immediate bounce back. Too much focus can still be on the former events in a weekend where King-Kong did a blackflip (Andy Carroll scored a majestic bicycle kick), Harry Kane followed up becoming a father by scoring a hat trick, Burnley's imperious home form continued and Paul Pogba decided to put this site's recent merited adulations to shame. Still one has to pick the best 5 based on performances since the season's commencement.
     Harry Kane and Dele Alli are currently kicking up a storm with ridiculous short term scoring statistics. Harry Kane has accrued 6 goals and an assist in his last 4 games while Alli has 7 goals and an assist in his last 6 games. Their upsurge in form is great but too recent to bump into the top 5 ratings. Tottenham's two wing/fullbacks (only Pochettino knows which) have been excellent all season. Rose is the Premier League's best left back by my ratings. The best right back is in a tight tussle between Kyle Walker and Antonio Valencia. A bit too Tottenham-centric I agree but this team is complete if everyone is on top form.
     Another recent gate crasher is Zlatan Ibrahimovich. This isnt unexpected as it's Zlatan, isn't it? Zlatan Ibrahimovich has scored 10 goals in his last 10 matches with 3 assists to boot. Him, Paul Pogba and everyone's git, Ander Herrera are completely responsible for Manchester's United's upturn in form. But likewise, he would need to do more to get into the top 5.
     The top 5 Premier League players therefore doesn't change form the last time. It reads:
  • Diego Costa
  •  Alexis Sanchez 
  • Eden Hazard
  • Sadio Mane
  • Paul Pogba (one poor game doesn't spoil half a season) 

Tuesday, 17 January 2017

Funny video of the week

When your destiny isn't remotely linked with football, this happens.


Monday, 16 January 2017

Hindsight is always right.

     Praise to God/gods (whichever suits you) for the Premier league that continued this weekend. We've missed it more than it can ever know.
     This weekend saw Pablo Zabaleta have his second stint at playing in the midfield, proving it's either Guardiola is a crazy genius or a crazy blind man. Manchester City as a whole had a rotten game with their current problem of defensive ineptitude and an inability to take chances coming back to haunt them. But come on, you don't expect to put away your chances if Raheem Sterling is your 'clinical' second striker. Without overflogging this, what did Guardiola expect from Zabaleta? Marauding runs from deep midfield, defence splitting passes? Let's just throw this defeat at Fernandinho's feet, him and his lack of discipline, picking up needless red cards here and there. Guardiola who preferred playing Zabaleta at central midfield to a 'ball playing, poor at defending' John Stones cannot be at fault. Looking at you Fernandinho. 😎
Pointless point: Manchester City have conceded 4 goals both times our 'Argentine regista' has started in midfield this season.
     Diego Costa to Shanghai SIPG! These transfer reporters must be high on Ayahuasca. Then all you guys believing them, ugghh! Costa can go to China of course, but now? No. That won't happen. Let's just move on.
     I always knew Real Madrid would lose at last. 😁 Their unbeaten run was hugely impressive especially if you factor in the number of injuries their squad has experienced. Expect Celta Vigo to experience the full brunt of their rebound anger tomorrow. A blood bath is on the cards.
     Manchester United and Liverpool also had a cracker at The Theatre of Dreams. I thought I made an objective assessment of the game until I started reading some comments online. That's when I asked myself, "Was it me watching the back of the TV or these guys?" Please who deserved to win the game more, Manchester United or Liverpool? Because now I am confused.
     Lest I forget, all you guys that still burnt money this weekend, when will you learn? Just leave the Over 2.5 when it comes to the big games this season in the Premier League, Under 3.5 looks smarter these days. Don't forget on Wednesday, Real Madrid win and Over 2.5, 1 and Over 2.5 against Celta Vigo. Liverpool to win both halves against Plymouth. The fairytale is over for this League 2 team.

Sunday, 15 January 2017

Hello Arsene! I need to make a video compilation.

 
     Like how water gradually eats away rock at the bottom of a waterfall, something has constantly being hewing away at the fabric of my mind. Ridiculous as it reads, it seemed eerily funny to me that I always came across Arsenal in many, no, most embarrassing video compilations. As the years passed and I came across more, the notion reinforced itself in me. Yesterday, I watched two free kick video compilations titled "Funny and smart free kicks ever" (Yes, no joke that's the title) and "Top 20 free kicks ever in football". The latter featured Cristiano Ronaldo belting two cracking shots from distance into Manuel Almunia's net (Almunia was Arsenal's keeper). The first video didn't feature Arsene Wenger's team but it did feature the Arsenal's female team conceding a well planned, poorly defended free kick. My mind immediately raced to how I had just downloaded a video compilation of top 10 own goals. Trust the bhoys not to slack as the video had 2 different own goals by Arsenal players, Carl Jenkinson's own goal was a beauty, one only gets to see such probably twice in a lifetime, can't wait to see my second.

     As the rationale of "This is just a coincidence" was succeeding in washing away the fatuous thought that Arsene Wenger somehow had a hand in helping YouTube creat video compilations, it occurred to me take note of strikers whose names strike fear into the heart of whatever defence was present at the Emirates since Wenger's tenure started.

  • Cristiano Ronaldo
  • Lionel Messi
  • Didier Drogba (Drogba vs Arsenal was just comical)
  • Wayne Rooney
  • Harry Kane (slowly becoming Didier Drogba's Arsenal reincarnation).    
Note: Any of these guys versus Arsenal as a goals compilation would be killer.  
     
     To be objective, Arsenal also featured in some pretty good highlights reels. I just recently watched a top 10 penalty save compilation and true to type, Wojneich Szczesny was one of the heroes. He saved Kirk Kuyt's penalty and the rebound. Arsenal also featured in a video compilation titled "Top 10 tikitaka goals", it had Tomas Rosicky's goal and Jack Wilshere's glorious team goal. I also remember that one of Thiery Henry's goals featured in a top 20 best solo goals compilation I watched. Then I remember Supersport once featured a video showing the best goals in the Premier league since its inception, Dennis Bergkamp's 'back to goal - flick the ball lightly' goal against Newcastle was ranked number 1.
      With all this proof, I hope I have confused and not convinced you as to the issue of whether Arsenal is just a compilation team or not. It's funny to think anyone looking for a killer video compilation just calls Wenger, "Hello Arsene! I want to make a video compilation." and Wenger readies the boys. The next match then features either the sickest moves or the most asinine, either way you have a part of your reel. I am now intensely aware of how preposterous this is, the whole write-up. But it's already written and look at the bright side, it's going to be fun for conspiracy theorists.

Friday, 13 January 2017

Break it down

 
     20:45 on Sunday, 08/10/17, saw Barcelona face an upbeat Villarreal at the Estadio de la Ceramica. Barcelona were on a 24-game unbeaten streak against the Yellow submarines and fielded the expected starting 11. Fran Escriba of Villarreal also laid out his preferred starting 11 in a 4-4-2 with the resurgent Alexandre Pato partnering Nicola Sansone in attack.
     The tactical layout of both teams was also easily anticaipated, Barcelona are never going to change from the Holy Grail of the 4-3-3 and Villareal looked to neutralise Barcelona's bite by holding two compact lines of four players behind their two forwards. Villareal's back line played extremely flat throughout the game probably fearing Barcelona's quick transition and counter-attacks. They also set up themselves to counter-attack with pace offering one or two runners from the first line of four during their counter-attacks. Well drilled by their coach, Villareal's tight defense gave Barcelona little joy. Not that Barcelona didn't creat chances but they were always second to the ball. This was expected as the Villareal players overpopulated the box, it had to take a very sleepy set of defenders to allow Barcelona get to the final ball. Villareal themselves carved out decent chances but Pique, Mascherano and Busquets seemed up to the task.
     In the first half, Barcelona were on the front foot, Messi and Iniesta were especially busy. Luis Enrique's team would probably have created more chances if their summer signing Andre Gomes was more tactically flexible and didn't just sit. Messi as part of an attacking three doesn't feature in Barcelona's game until the final phase of attack, Messi always starts out as the widest man in Barcelona's in-game midfield four. This means many of the times Andre Gomes and Messi occupied the same space, a tactically better player such as Arda Turan or Ivan Rakitic would have understood this as a chance to creat better vertical penetration or horizontal width. When Messi occupied Gomes' halfspace, Gomes refused to make runs into the Villareal defense or fan out wide to occupy another Villareal defender. If he had done that he would have given Messi another passing option instead of forcing him to always pass out left or try to dribble his way into the Villareal box. The latter effect had been prepared for by the team in Yellow, double and triple teaming Messi when he was on the ball, they succeeded in regaining possession a lot of times. Neymar also had a decent game, creating the highest number of chances by any player in the game. He constantly provided balls into the box but Villareal's numerical advantage always ensured they came to fruition.
    
     The second half started with Barcelona still on the front foot until a poor pass by Lucas Digne which led to a Villareal counter-attack. Pique refused to commit himself in marking Pato giving the Brazilian time and space to lay out an inch perfect pass to Sansone, who picked his spot and put the ball there despite a quickly receding shot angle. Immediately after the goal, Villareal started a high press preferring to force Barcelona into errors early in their build up. It turned out to be a bad idea as Barcelona easily passed around the press to fuel quick paced attacks, creating 1v1 situations as most Villareal players were still up the pitch. This made Villareal return back to type, sitting back with tight banks of four. Luis Enrique was sentient enough to notice what Gomes' lack of movement was causing as Gomes moved better and was a far better threat in the second half. With greater attacking verve, good substitutions and a slight tweak in formation to a 3-4-3, Barcelona created better chances in the second half even forcing Villareal player, Bruno into a blatant handball in his box which the referee missed. In the same vein, referee Ignacio Iglesias also missed Mascherano's outstretched hand which blocked Soriano's shot. Barcelona almost broke the deadlock with Messi hitting the woodwork in the 73rd minute. Barcelona didn't deserve to lose and they didn't as Messi buried his 90th minute free kick in the far right corner of the post after being awarded the kick from a foul by the second half substitute, Sami Castillejo.
     Villareal would have ended the game the more satisfied team with their defensive performance almost earning them the win but Messi's brilliance extended Barcelona's unbeaten streak against Villareal to 25 matches.   
Image result for villarreal vs barcelona 1-1 images

Wednesday, 11 January 2017

4 Top Footballing Midfield Maestros

     After a long session of watching Paul Pogba's pass to Rooney against Hull City on repeat and lacking the ability to control the stirring it brings to my loins, my mind got caught up in attempting to lay out football's 5 best midfielders right now. In no particular order, they are:


  • Paul Pogba: After a rocky start to life on the red side of Manchester, Pogba has truly come into his own. Statistics never lie and they support Pogba all the way but sometimes just looking up statistics is reductionistic and takes away the beauty of the game. Just watching Pogba tear down other midfielders throughout a game will suffice, after satisfying yourself on the Pogba-snack, then you can go look up the stats if you feel your eyes just lied to you.                        

 
     Meanwhile for all you number crunchers, Paul Pogba has 4 goals and 3 assists from central midfield making 2.8 dribbles per game and is second on average number of passes made per game with 73.6 passes.
    



  • Toni Kroos: Fresh from being named on FIFPro World 11 alongside his teammate, Luka Modric, who is also on this list, Toni Kroos is the tied leader of the La Liga assist chart with 7 assists. But it's the intangibles that matter now, Kroos has evolved from the fragile, timid, tired-looking midfielder of his early Real Madrid days to become a mastermind who evades crunching tackles with his ability to read 5 steps into the game, 2 steps creates acres in what seemed like stifling situations, an unrivalled passing range and preterhuman passing accuracy, topping the La Liga with 92.8% passing accuracy. Toni Kroos reminds one of a certain La Liga ex-player who played for Real Madrid's archrivals.


Thiago Alcantara: Currently the most important player in Carlo Ancelotti's Bayern Munich, Thiago always had the talent and charisma even while at Barcelona. Go figure now that Thiago Alcantara features as the Bundesliga best player so far, running the game as part of a midfield 3. Thiago's guile, style, dribbling ability and eye for space puts him on a higher plane than all others. A 90% passing accuracy just takes him away from the plane farther from us on earth.

Luka Modric: This man continues to confound, you think it's finally safe to say he is past his prime and Modric takes the next match to make you tear up the worksheet and chase other conclusions. Modric defines the modern Regista, a deep lying playmaker who does more than creat chances. His only seeming weakness is a lack of defensive application but football is anachronistic. And taking a cue from Brazil's famed "Joga Bonito", attack is the new defense.



Man on the Spot


      Luis Suarez
      For a man so talented, Luis Suarez is a polarising character. His career ,riddled with misdemeanors and achievements alike, makes Eric Cantano look like Pope John Paul.
     Suarez once headbutted a referee when he was 16, he gathered a plethora of yellow and red cards early in his career, twice handled the ball which directly effected the falling out of Mansfield Town and Ghana from the FA cup and World cup respectively (causing African Press to name him Public Enemy Number 1 in 2010), once found guilty of racial abuse, thrice involved in biting incidents. That looks more like a rap sheet for a convict than one for 2015/2016's La Liga Pichichi award winner.
 
         Suarez has won the golden boot in all 3 European leagues he has played in, many other accolades follow which make his football crimes very tolerable, mildly acceptable if one is a cynic. Suarez is the highest goal scorer in Uruguay's history, he scored 20 goals in 15 games, the shortest in English Premier League history. He is the only man to top both the goalscorers' and assist charts simultaneously at the end of a La Liga season and to do it during the epoch of the Messi-Ronaldo duopoly makes it all the more impressive.
   It's easy to overlook such phenomenal players while still under the hypnotic delirium of witnessing Messi and Ronaldo but even when we can force ourselves to cast our gaze upon the Uruguayan magician, his image is forever tainted by the unpopular goal line handball clearance against Ghana and that sociopathic tendency to bite "when things aren't going right".

     
     Perhaps Suarez is best described by Liverpool's owner John W. Henry, "He is a good person 99% of the time, and 1% of the time his desire to win overcomes everything else."